Facebook.

Guys, I am telling you. I can only use this website when I'm drunk. Which is, of course, always an awesome decision. When I am sober, I can barely figure out how to view my own profile. When I'm drunk, I am firing off messages and changing my settings and liking people's statuses - all things I cannot seem to figure out without the aide of fermentation.

I can tell you what regret looks like. An inbox full of comments by strangers on a status on which you made some drunk witticism.

Save me from myself.